In less than a year

We've gone from Future Mr and Mrs...to Mr and Mrs...to what now feels like roommates.

I don't know who this man is I'm leaving with. He isn't the sweet, caring, calm, level-headed man I married.

In October 2010 B pulled a muscle while at work on the plane. The pain from this pulled muscle caused him to pass out....for those of you who have any knowledge about the airline industry...you know this is a big UH OH!

Since Oct, we have been fighting to get his medical back. 5 doctors have told us and the FAA they believe it was just a vasovagal attack and nothing is wrong, yet they can not diagnosis this for certain. So we are grounded.

As some of my long ago readers may remember B and I did not get to go on our planned honeymoon because he got sick in the airplane as we were going to leave the states for Mexico. So we had planned on taking one in December when his next scheduled vacation was. We were going to go to Paris...the off season for travel there and would have been able to use our flight benefits. Don't ya know....you can't non-rev on other airlines while you are on sick time....therefore Paris was called off...

We were able to go to Montreal (because that is one place his airline does fly to)...just where you want to go in the middle of the winter! It was nice we were able to get away from home...but it was nothing special...snow covered with not a whole lot to do in the winter.

I was suppose to go back to MN for Christmas...but again using the rule of only being able to non-rev on his airline...that gave me one flight a day to get home...wasn't going to work out...so I missed out on Christmas! YAY....Life as a pilot's wife...sucks...

Now the new plan for B is to study for his GMAT and get his MBA.

This means our apartment has turned into basically a dorm room...he is studying all the time...and spending no time focusing on us.

We've had to ask both sets of our parents for help with our finances. EMBARRASSING!

We had plans for this summer for me to get to go down to part-time at work...but with the loss of his income and did I mention the GOOD insurance from the airlines..I have to work as many hours I can get. Which isn't a lot when Doctors are out of the office every week meaning an x-ray tech has to take a day off...and with so few of us...it seems to be my turn every few days.

My whole income will now be going to insurance and my student loan payments. Which is great since you know...we need to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. Not for our sake but for the sake of B's son A.

I'm sorry this post has been about complaining..I've run out of outlets and need to put my anger somewhere.

I hate my life. I'm sick of fighting every day with my husband...who after yesterday I've started calling roomie...because he doesn't feel like a husband...he feels like a roommate. and i don't want a male roommate! They are no fun! We snap at each other all the time...there is so much tension its like walking on egg shells every day from the moment I wake up to the final tug of the covers because...with our king size bed he seems to still not get enough covers..when I'm barely covered at all...

Any advice out there???

I pray everyday...I'm really starting to rely on my faith in the Lord...but I'm beginning to lose hope at the same time...I'm not strong enough for this...if i didn't have the Lord on my side I know i'd be a lot worse off then I am...but something has to give......

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks for listening!

Signing Off

a.....lost and hopeless....

~*KJ*~

Edit after the comment I received:

B is not able to get Workers comp, because the injury is over. It is the passing out on the plane that is the problem. The FAA took is medical license away. Worker's Comp says that this has nothing to do with the injury and therefore will not cover anything for us!...But thanks for the thoughts!

Funny Story

I thought I would give you my fellow readers a little bit of wedding details...well not so much wedding details but the honeymoon that didn't happen details...

Mainly because there has been a lot of talk around me today of people's honeymoons..and I'm feeling sorry for myself...so where else to pout about it then on my blog...that sometimes exists!

Here we go:

My husband, (a pilot...remember this, its humorous and embarrassing for him..) got sick on our first flight from MN to TX. He asked me for the barf bag, but before I could figure out what he wanted he was projectile vomiting on the plane. So when we got to TX we had to find something new for him to wear, as he had no other clothes in his carry on. Luckily my one carry on suitcase was packed with clothes for me as I had to change as well. He seemed tired that morning as we had only 3 hours of sleep so I really didn't think that our day would turn out the way it did. As we were sitting at the airport to go to Mexico he started getting sick again, he threw up in the airport also. However then he felt amazing so we got on the plane.

As the plane was taxiing to the runway, I looked over at my husband all excited because we were going to Mexico on our HONEYMOON...and he was pale! VERY WHITE...and sorta sweaty...So I asked him what was wrong and he told me in a very soft voice he thought he was going to pass out...so I flagged down the flight attended for a cool washcloth and told her that he thought he was going to pass out... so she asked is it anxiety, does he fly much? I laughed and said yes, he is a pilot. So at this point we knew something was extremely wrong so we had to call an ambulance to meet the plane back at the gate and we spent our second day married in the emergency room in Texas..not in Mexico in our Honeymoon suite.

Turns out he was really dehydrated and had some sort of stomach bug.

So my advice to those of you with a wedding in your future...make sure you are drinking the water the whole week leading up to your wedding. We had so much going on with all the decorating and such that water was far from our minds, and that ruined our honeymoon.

We will at some point go away on a make up honeymoon...but it will not be the same...as we'll have been married for awhile and it won't be our relaxing time after our stressful week leading up to the wedding.

I know...that if this is the worst thing to happen to me then I am lucky..and I know that God stopped us from going for a reason...but I can't help but be a little bit angry that I didn't get that honeymoon I've always dreamed of...

Anyway..

Thanks for letting me vent a bit...I"m going to head to bed...One Day left of this week!!

WHOOP!!!

Signing Off

~*Mrs. KJ*~

Really lady you are S-T-U-P-I-D!

Yes I spelled it out..we don't say that word in our house!!!

So the radio station I listen to some mornings has this thing called "Open Mic Line", they let callers call in and vent or say whatever and it goes on air. Well yesterday morning I hear this lady call in and this is what she says:

"yeah, this is for the other lady that called Obama the anti-Christ, why should health insurance not be a law, you are required by law to have car insurance...isn't your body more important than your car?"

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes your body is more important than your car...but frankly stupid lazy lady, I don't care what you do with your body. I do however care if you rear-end me while I'm sitting at a red light and you don't have car insurance. That affects me, and that my dear, is why car insurance is required by law. In another incident if you broke your arm because you were jumping on a trampoline or whatever, that does not affect me. I am not out anything because your lazy butt fell and got hurt. If you rear-end me I am out the damage to the car and to my body because I was following traffic laws and stopping at a red light.

Do you see the difference???

As someone who works in health care and receives health care, I do believe that there needs to be some health care reform. What Obama proposed and S-T-U-P-I-D I-D-O-I-T-S in Washington passed this week IS NOT IT!!!!!!!!! This will not help our country...you really think that the doctors who paid Thousands of $$ to go to school to provide, you the general public, with that health care are going to continue to work like they have been? Um no...its not that simple. Yes, they chose to go into that profession and I chose mine, but if we all sat around and were lazy like Rod in Norwood (he is another frequent caller on another radio station..BTW he doesn't report his income to the IRS..he runs a daycare..would not trust this man with my pet rock!),who just continues to make babies with his "woman" yet the only reason he can afford to have those babies is because of the government, there would be NO MONEY in the system for your babies, then what would you do??

(no i don't really have a pet rock but if I didn't...I would not Rod watch it.)

Excuse me but I think it is stupid that I have to pay for someone to have 6 or 7 children, because they can't afford their hospital bills...have we heard of SEX EDUCATION??

I'd understand if you didn't know where babies come from for the first child...but really after 6 we should have this figured out okay!!!

And another thing!

Since I really can't change the world...when am I going to see some of the benefits I'm working so hard to give money to?

Cash for clunker appliances?...we just bought a new washer and dryer...because we didn't have one at all...but we can't get that benefit because you have to be REPLACING an existing unit. We could have went non-energy star right? we didn't...

The new home buyer tax-credit/existing-homeowner tax credit: well we can't have that A) B owns a condo..not a new home buyer...and B has only owned that condo for 3 years...not the required 5..

And the New Student Loan cap thing..that was passed with the stupid Obama care bill...doesn't start until 2014..I'm not sure on this..but I don't think passed graduates will qualify...I'm thinking..it will take effect then for current college graduates...does anyone know??

I'm going to leave you now with one more thing, an email I received..that is a true story:

Obamanomics 101

This man is truly a genius! An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had once failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A... After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on) Remember, there is a mid-term election in 2010! Signing Off A non-lazy, however thinking that might be a better outcome for me if I were ~*KJ*~

Seriously!!!!

So my emails keep getting hacked...it totally sucks and scares me to death!

Well, I guess lately someone has just been trying to reset the password, but seriously, google step it up a bit! Return people's emails and help a girl out will ya?

By the way.. I revoked my old email from this blog and put my new one in just in case...I promise it is me!


I got enough stress in my life to be dealing with this also!!!


The wedding planning is not coming along all to well! I'm really at a stand still not sure of what else I need to get done! This stinks!

I was in the middle of working on the invitations when I got the "to reset your password" email there for here I am fixing all my accounts...AGAIN!!! 5th time in the last month I believe!!1

Anyway...If you have any tips on what I should be doing as far as the wedding...please send them this way!

It's hard because the knot's list doesn't quite fit, I'm a Bride with a reception hall that doesn't provide anything!!! EKK!!!

Okay...well wedding planning must go on!!

If you have any tips about my accounts also...send them my way!!

Take Care
Signing off
A Stressed, freezing and frustrated
KJ

Honey...moon??

So!! Vacation bids came out yesterday!....guess what week B got?


Give up?

NOT ANYWHERE CLOSE TO MAY...

December actually....

problem:

Wedding booked for MAY!!! He doesn't even for sure get that off at this point....

Seriously!!!!

Why can't crew planning understand that people have lives and sometimes they have to make plans that can't be changed??


Yes...I realize other people have plans then too...but seriously...i can't wait until the month before my planned wedding date to plan it...

Well I could if we believed in going to the JOP...but we are christians...so we don't...we NEED to get married in a church!!!


GRRRRRRRR


THIS TICKS ME OFF!!!

Oh yea...rough long day at work to....ekk!

I don't know if I can do this...

As I sit and reflect on my day, the only thought that comes to mind is " do i want to do this the rest of my life?" Do I want to be the girl that has to bring her kids to church all alone because my hubby is working, do I want to be the girl who can't seem to please her MIL. The girl who is all alone in this big strange city! I don't like this! I got an invite today for the holiday party at my new work. It is on a Friday so will B be able to make it, doubtful!

I'm kind of sick of this being all alone shit! and excuse my language but I'm bothered! I was rear-ended last week on my way to my 2nd day of work, and ended up having to go to the ER after work because my back hurt so fricken bad! I couldn't help but thing if it wasn't for B i would be in this stupid town having this happen to me all alone! I hate going to the ER alone. Doctor's visits I can do, but the ER in a new town...sucks..especially when I can't find them damn place.

And...I'm probably going to have to spend Christmas here, with his family, without him. It's not that I don't like his family, its just his traditions are not mine, and he won't even be here! I don't want to spend Christmas with his family, without him.

Anyway work is still going great, I had my first day in the OR today, and it wasn't so bad. I didn't actually run the C-Arm I just observed but still it was okay.

I think after all this stupid crying and feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to go get some ice cream.

but not at the Dairy Queen because THIS STUPID TOWN DOESN'T HAVE A DAIRY QUEEN!!!! EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT THE F! How can a girl survive without a DQ?

Signing Off

a SAd and lonely

~*KJ*~

wonderful

Guess where I am...no its not hawaii...but it is no longer the side of the highway in the city during rush hour...I'm sitting at a repair shop with my stalled car...so much fun!! Alone...B is flying...I'm no where near my daddy...I have a doctor appt tomorrow and school in another town a hour away...what am I going to do...I called AAA lucky for me my aunt works there and knows all the ins and outs of my plan and I guess I can get a rental for a day so that is good since they can only dx the problem not fix it today...anyway gonna call my dad inform him of what's up.

Signing off
A carless KJ

non-rev travel

Hello from some random airport hotel in indy...

My flight had 30 open seats two hours before departure...when I got to the gate and asked the gate agent how it was looking for standbys...she tells me its looking good...ohhh...comes time to close the door....nope..no non revs...it is full!...

So here I am in Indy..not MN...I have class at noon...I hope I get back! I have to get up at 3 to catch a 4am van...to try for a 530 flight...did i mention..i don't have a toothbrush, because I had a crappy one with me so I threw it away this morning...oh and I didnt' pack any shower stuff as I was going to the In-Laws on stand by and well, thats to many liquids, so I packed the things I knew they wouldn't have for me to use....

AND!!! I'm out of clean clothes!!!!

I'm going to be stinky tomorrow!!!!

EEEKKKK!!!

Don't worry dear passenger who gets to sit next to me, I'm going to take a shower, and use the hotel's icky soap, I will put on deodorant and perfume, I will use a tick tack in the am....and if I have time and money I will buy a toothbrush and toothpaste and brush my teeth at the airport, before the flight!

Anyway I'm off to bed!!!

Signing Off

KJ

Life...

I NEED ONE!!!!

I'm super bored tonight. 

I left home, finally. Went to school, found out I couldn't participate in clincials tomorrow, so I left after class and came to B's. 

B is in OHIO...not MN...

I don't want to do homework...I'm sick of school...and I'm angry about the whole clinical situation.

B will potentially be working all weekend...like normal lately. 

So I'm here...online...if your bored...msg me...MSN: butt3rflie1113...

Funny thing, you (my reader) probably have a family and life...but if you are bored like me...haha u know!

ALSO....B's airline is taking away my travel benefits in July.....should we get married earlier with a JOP just to keep them..?? Leave a comment!! Let me know!!

If things work out....

GRR... I'm so ticked right now!!!

I got my hopes up, B had said that he might be able to come see me tonight, instead he is going to see A. Not a big deal, if that were the only thing.

All are phone conversations lately have added up to about five minutes a day, since I saw him the week of his brother's wedding, which was in April. 

I was suppose to spend Sunday night with him, he had to work, again not a big deal, but that was the only planned time of seeing him the whole month of May. 

I'm having surgery next Friday, again, not a big deal, I would just like to see him prior, just in case! 

He has the nerve to say to me today, he might make it to my graduation, this Saturday morning. If things work out. Realize he is on reserve Friday night and Saturday night, and every other flipping time we schedule to see each other. Or he gets himself extended.....I'M SO SICK OF THIS!!!!

I can not wait until the day when he goes home, to see A, I will also be at that home, because it will be our home. Its been let down after let down this month. 

Even in April at the wedding we barely had time together, he was a groomsman and I had to take care of A, and it was event after event after event the whole time. 

I think it would all be better if we could talk on the phone, like talk talk, not "i thought I'd call quick because I'm on a maintenance delay, but I gotta call my mom now." or " I'm sorry I feel asleep and I'm going to just go back to bed, good night, I Love You" I realize that I'm lucky we get that little bit, its just hard. 

In happier news: I'm walking at graduation on Saturday and only 100 more days until I'm officially board ready!!! Hopefully also 100 days until full time work...or maybe 105, so I have time to move and take the exam! 

Wedding planning is in full swing again lately. I'm meeting with the florist on Friday. The guest list: 425 eek!!! I think the place only holds 400! And I still have people to add, so I'm going to have to subtract people! 

I plan on getting more things figured out when I'm at my parent's home recovering from surgery, the Gall Bladder is coming out on May 22!!

I also found out that I need to have my TMJ looked at. B if you are reading this, now you know. I haven't had a chance to tell you that. That appt is in the cities on June 22 :D at least its covered with my great insurance :D

Anyway, I think I'm going to clean, this place is a pig st ye! My mom would tell you that I'm not over reacting, it would have been considered a pig st ye to her months ago! :D

Signing Off

A "channelling cinderell-y"

KJ

My old stomping grounds...

So for the most part I keep a lot of who I am secret, if you are an avid reader of my blog, you know this.

However I'm freaking out tonight about what is going on in the town in which I use to live. Where I go to school...when I'm not at this internship. When I wake up tomorrow it could all be under water. I have this terrible feeling about it all. If you have been living under a rock the last week.. Fargo, ND is about to flood. Along with all the areas along the Red River. (Fact: the red river flows north, I'm amazed by how many times I've heard people say that they didn't know that, living where I live now. THEY SHOULD KNOW THAT! For more information see here) Anyway, back to why I'm freaking out..my brother has chosen to say and help his buddies. I have this feeling in my gut, that I can't shake. I've gotten this feeling before a few times. Turns out it usually means something. The last time I had one this strong, we had three trauma codes in one night. I've gotten it almost every trauma code that as come in. I don't think its breaking HIPAA to say that our hospital has taken in some of the evacuees from the hospital in Fargo that closed. So we are already hopping with extra patients, probably just because they all came at the same time. All our doctors have new patients, that they don't know that much about, so LOTS of tests are being ordered. 

That's a lot of rambling going on there...sorry...I just can't stop thinking about all the people I know up there, who I don't know if they are safe. Have they lost their house? All their memories? Their pets? This happens, the red floods every year...but not to the extend of breaking records. So I'm use to that...its just the extent...people aren't leaving, LEAVE!!! Get out...get your memories together, not your things, and GO!!!

Oh and my brother is was half way home, because you see, this F/M area is just where we go to school. So he is half way home and his friend calls, another friend needs help getting his house ready. So my parents told my brother to do what he had to. HE TURNED AROUND!!! Now I know that I'm being selfish, but this thing in my gut, this feeling that is rocking me to my soul, wants him out of there!!! I want home, safe and sound.  I also am very proud of my little brother, for being so caring and helpful. I just hope he stays smart about it all.

Okay, so after writing that last sentence, I had to call my brother to tell him I love him and to also tell him I'm proud of him. He told me he loved me too, in front of all his buddies, he has done that before, and that makes me even more proud of the man he is growing up to be. My dad also called to tell me that my brother is safe, turns out he is staying with a family and father is on the police force for Moorhead, so I would think that L, my brother, is safe.

I think its time to go read my bible, as I need some guidance. 

Signing Off

A praying for the Red River Valley 

KJ

Argh!

So...B and I are currently in a disagreement...

like right now, I hung up on him a few minutes ago, and we're talking through text, I'm fuming!!!

I've been taking golf lessons, tonight was my last night :(

I've really been enjoying them, and my instructor told me I was a natural!

I golfed a little bit back before Jr. High, never nothing serious, Just golf camp! So I really was learning fresh. So there was a deal tonight, that if you signed up for lessons, you could get additional 250 min of range time. I actually got 350 I'm sure. 

Anyway, I talked to the instuctor, he said that as well as I've done these last four weeks in a group setting that lessons, would be a really good idea. Yes, I know he was selling them, that is his job after all. Anyway, I had actually just tonight looked at my money situation, and I'm thinking I'm not going to be able to pay rent by the end of the year, so I didn't think I should get these lessons. 

However, I called my dad. Asked him about it, told him the rent situation. He said he would pay for them. So I got them. I didn't pout when asking I just simply said I was wondering if what he thought about getting them. 

Now B is mad at me because it was a waste of money and excess spending. 

I don't see why it really should be any of his business at this point.

A) we aren't married

B) its not his money

C) its my dad's 

D) I've found something I'm really starting to enjoy, and am getting the hang of

E) its an outlet for my pent up energy

F) Its a stress reliever, 

and 

G) ITS SOMETHING FOR ME! not for anyone else. 

I don't get it. 

I know I like to buy things, I get that. I've cut back a lot on the shopping, I also get that I'm getting married in about a year. But I don't see why if my dad said yes, I should feel guilty about talking to him about it. 

Anyway I think I'm going to go look over somethings for school

night

Signing off

A feeling pressured to feel guilty

KJ

Random Events!

So, tonight was my third night of golf lessons, we learned about the swing.

Before class I tried to practice a bit, not really sure what I was doing. I hit the ball just a few times, and not very far. 

As we got done with the classroom bit, I was feeling more confident. 

We hit the dome. 

I hit the back wall!!! Not the first time and not all the time.

But I did get my ball to go in the air all the way to the wall!!! Most of the time I got it to go half way to 3/4 of the way to the wall.  It was pretty fun, and I beginning to think I've found a new hobby. :D

Another crazy thing that has been happening, I've getting phone calls from 2 different weird phone numbers, at all random times of the day. Weird because there is an extra digit!

I'm going to publish these numbers, because these people are ticking me off! SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO SLEEP AT 4 AM!!! Plus, when I call the numbers back, I get an "incorrect number or code" message!

These calls started Saturday Morning at 3 am which I slept through I guess, they let me sleep on Sunday. Monday I got one at 6am woke me up. And in the afternoon missed in, during clinicals. Tuesday 4 AM! Woke me, kept me awake for an hour, then I finally got to sleep, for 30 min, then I had to get up. Today again at 630  am, 730, 11, 130. ANNOYING!!!

Oh and when I actually answered the phone calls, they hung up a few seconds after I said Hello, or who is this?

Okay here goes, 

If you recognize these numbers please get me the people's info or tell them to leave me alone!!!

2 521 592 5146

2 526 274 0773

B just called, he had been talking to Sprint about these calls, they can't block them. There is nothing they can do....GRRRRRR

Alrighty, well 

I bought some new wedding mags. today so I'm going to go look at those!!

Signing off

A really wanting to just plan the entire wedding and ignore the rest of life

KJ

Friends

I just wanted to put a little message out there to my best friend T.

You are one of the greatest people in the world.

You mean so much more to me than I let on. 

I wish I was more of a friend to you then I am at times. 

I wish that you and I lived closer, so that we could spend more time together.

Most of all, I'm so happy that you will be standing next to me as my parents give me away, as I become a wife and a mother. 

I can't imagine anyone else I'd want right there next to me then you.

We've had our rocky times, and we've had smooth sailing.  At the times, I hated those rocky moments, I have now grown to see that those reasons are why we are so close, why we are who we are. 

T. Thank you for always being someone I can count on!

My eyes were opened again today, and every moment like these I've dealt with make me realize how great of a friend I have in you. I just wanted you to know I appreciated it!

Venting

Just landed from Ohio. Things are super weird. I look at my finger and there is a ring on it! OK, its a stange adjustment. 

And the planning....umm NO PLANS set in stone! My mom wants me to get married in my church. B doesn't want a big wedding, he wants a destination. My dad wants a cheap one and I just want one filled with love! Maybe fancier than not, but not to break the pocketbook!

My mom called me like 75 times in the last four days about the wedding and that I was planning it without her and what not. We hardly talked about anything B and I. So it was annoying!!!

I'm not sure how to plan a wedding! I have no clue where to start. Then adding a destination on it, yikes! I want to get married somewhere I've been before the actual date! We are thinking AZ, I'm going out there in March so I'll get to look at some stuff, but I've never been there either!

Any advice and tips would be greatly accepted!!!

Signing off (b/c I'm late for a lunch date!)

KJ

Home sweet Home

So I should be in bed sleeping the night away, instead I'm sitting up putting old cds I found in my closet on my computer.  I'm at home. HOME HOME. I need to get up and drive to school home tomorrow to work, then to B's home after work for our new years eve night. He made reservations at a cute little resturant downtown. I'm really excited, I finally get my fancy romantic dinner!!! Only took 2 months :)

B informed me tonight, that his airline put out a memo that they are going to be displacing 30 captains. For you non airline people this means they will be putting 30 newly made captains back to a first officer position. 

Now you may remember that B is a newly made captain. Luckily he is not low enough to be in the bottom 30. 

However if they do this again, he most likely will be displaced as he is in the bottom 60. 

Scary!!

It would be nice to have a good schedule again, but sucky pay, so I'm split as to what I would like to have happen. I'll keep ya posted!

I'm ready to leave home, I was going to this morning then I didnt' get moving in time and this wonderful mn weather, I figured I'd wait one more day!

There is a lot of tension at home these days. I'm not sure why, but when I spend to many days with my mother, I get really tense. She likes to ask questions and be in my business, that bothers me. She can't really ever sit in silence. Sometimes a girl needs quite you know? Then their computers went to crap and she doesn't really know how to use them anyway. She gets fed up with electronics very fast and doesn't take the time to learn about them. Its hard to handle, my poor dad caught the wrath tonight about not fixing the printer and la de dah. Turns out a) the printer was jammed and b) my dad had changed up the network a bit when he got his new blue ray disc player that streams netflix movies so it messed up the wireless network..easy fixes, someone just needed the time to FIX!!

Well ladies and gents, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you the best in 2009!!

I have a very long day ahead of me I must hit the hay!

Signing off, 

A burned out

KJ

Hmm..

I'm in the mood to post, but I don't have a lot to say. 

B and I had a rough patch last week, things are better, we've talked things out and have promised to work on issues. 

I went to therapy today, that was alright. 

One more day to election day! I'm so sick of the ads. How can Al Franken say he is better for senate because he didn't vote on the bail out bill. WELL NO SHIT AL! Last I heard you AREN'T IN OFFICE YET!!!! You can't vote for it if you aren't in the senate!!!

Also, I'm still really struggling with why people think OBAMA is so great? He is going to give money from the hard working folks to those to lazy to get off their asses? 

I'm not saying McCain is really the greatest choice for President either, but really why do you think that is fair? I don't have a real job yet, but honestly I don't want your money random person making to much money. I want to work to get my own, or get married and have B's (lol!) . If that's the case and we get married and I don't have to go to a real job, I'll be a stay at home mom working my ass off anyway. Being a SAHM is a rough job I'm sure, especially when your husband is a pilot. 

On another election note my aunt is up for election in MN Supreme Court Seat 4. (for you MN readers the incumbent, she doesn't necessarily share all my opinions, and when asked her political affiliation she will just tell you she is not at liberty to say, but she believes in enforcing the law, SHE DOES NOT MAKE THEM!) She would appreciate your vote!

A's bday is tomorrow! Hard to believe that little boy has been in my life for three years. He is the sweetest and most well behaved three year old I know! Its crazy to see how much he has changed in the last year since B's family has had temp. custody. B and his family go to court for custody on Thursday. I know whatever is best for A will happen, but I just hope its what is best for B and his family as well as Me. :D

My Birthday is coming up. Just an FYI, Nov. 13. I'm crazy excited for it, no plans yet, but I love my birthday.

Anyway I thought I had nothing to blog about, but I guess I did once my fingers started typing. 

Pathology test tomorrow....I hope I don't fail this one too!

ALrighty!

I should get ready for bed I'm sleepy!

Have a good night!!

Thanks for keeping up with my blog until the end. 

Signing off 

A typing like a crazy person

KJ

So Alone...(Again)

Well a lot has happened since my last post, as usual!

In April B and I went to Florida to visit my cousin. We had a blast.

Before and after my trip, myself and 3 “friends” were looking into getting a place to live together for this year. I got a call one night saying the four of us need to talk, so I agreed. I ended up going to one of the girls places and basically walked into a big talk about me, and jess, the one i was living with at the time. The other two had basically been put in the middle and had had enough. However, they basically choose Jess’s side and have left me out to dry. Even though Steph and I were really close.

So here I am again Living alone and loving it. HOWEVER!! I’m so sick of feeling like I have no friends, except when they are having an issue.

To make it worse…B has upgraded to captain, back to 10 days off and is based in Detroit now, not Minneapolis. and he has to go to Ohio on his days off still has his son is still out there. So B has no more weekends off, I’m at clinicals almost all every day, and now when I’m not at the hospital as a student I will be working. So seeing him is going to be almost impossible. And he doesn’t seem to think you can drive from Minneapolis to here. Like the road only goes one way. He had a high speed last night and doesn’t fly until 8 am, tonight would have been a good time to hang out, but he has things to do. Like I don’t all the times I make trips to him!!! But I do it, because I want to spend time with him. Seems as though that is a one way thing as well lately. He had all day to get his things done, then he could have came up for a little bit and drove back, its only an hour drive, and I do it quite a bit!!! However, when I bring it up all he says is I’ve been doing things, and still have things to do!! I just don’t get it.

I don’t understand what is so wrong with me that people in general don’t like to hang out with me. I don’t think I smell, I don’t need anything from people but companionship. I’m smart, and I’m not THAT ugly, I’m by no means hot, but on my good days, i don’t think i look to bad.

IF anyone out there has gone through this how did you make it through?? I’m sick of only having “friends” because that person needs something from me, or because no one else was around. I just don’t get it….HELP!!!!!

Okay, well thats enough!

I just needed an outlet thanks for letting me vent, maybe tomorrow will be better!